I found our discussion on black maternal identity on the notion that whether we belong to our parents or do they belongs to us to be very interesting. In my opinion I believe its a combination of both. As children our parents care for us and teach us values that they believe and essentially we as children cannot survive without someone providing for us. So in that sense I believe we belong to our parents but as you grow up and become your own person you begin to break away. While you become more independent your parents get older and will eventually need you in some way to help them and your roles will switch.

The Passing Down of Pain

http://atlantablackstar.com/2014/04/23/debate-stirs-viral-video-trinidadian-mother-disciplining-daughter/

There has been a viral video going around of a Trinidadian mother punishing her daughter for posting an inappropriate photo on a social network. I've found in my personal life that the pain that black mothers experience often gets passed down to their daughters in one way or another. In Beloved, Sethe feels her mother's pain, and Sethe's children feel hers. I feel like the mother in the video was acting out some previous pain she had experienced by choosing to discipline her daughter in this way.

While we were in class, I found it very interesting to hear the mother to daughter dynamic for the women in the class.  With that being said, I instantly knew what my final post would be.  This spoken word piece embodies the mother daughter dynamic to me perfectly.  I believe many of you would agree after watching.  It is a POWERFUL piece, so proceed with caution lol.

In class the question was asked, Do mothers own their children or do children own their mothers? I believe that mothers own their children and children own their mothers. In Beloved both Sethe and Beloved claim each other. Mothers own their children because, they simple give birth to them and raise them. Children also give their mothers a since of freedom, and power. Children own their mothers because they have the power to make their mothers do anything to make sure they never have to live the way they did ow make the same mistakes.

"Thick Black Love"

"It ain't my job to know what's worse. It is my job to know what is and to them away from what I know is terrible I did that" (P. 194).

In my opinion, I believe it is wrong to kill your children, but a mother will do anything for their child, even if it results in death. I think this is a form of "thick black love" and Sethe did what she felt was right for child, so she did not have to go through the oppression, abuse, and torture that was involved in being a slave. Sethe felt as if she was going to do what it took to be the best mother, she thought she could be with for her children. Her aspect of protecting her children might of been un-ruling, but that is all she knew since she did not have a strong relationship with her biological mother. She did not have a relationship with her mother, which lead to her not being attached to hers. African American women have a different way on doing things for their children or reflecting what they learned and using that method with their children, which either helps or hurts them.

Maternal/Child Claiming

I believe that everyone has a different outlook on this subject. I grew up in the church and from my understanding we are all God's property. I own not my mother nor does she own me. Yes we introduce each other as "my mother" or "my daughter" but in actuality we are all God's children. I apologize, but then again I don't, for bringing in my religious view about the topic but as discussed in class I had no relationship with my biological mother and the mother that raised me was unaffectionate so all I really had we my religion and The Lord.

Do Mothers Own Their Children?

My answer to that question is no.  I believe the children own the parents. From a biblical prospective, children are only given to parents temporarily.  Psalms 127:3 teaches that "children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward."  Parents have an obligation to raise their children in a manner parallel to biblical standards—and ultimately in a way that gives us back to Christ. Our parents raise us, teach us, and nurture us. As we get older, we move on and we move away. We are then in a sense given back to the world to discover things on our own and to become our own missionary.

Maternal Curse?

"Love is or it ain't. Thin love ain't love at all." Sethe says this to Paul D when he tells her that her love is too thick. I feel like black mothers try to prevent their children, especially their daughters, from experiencing the hardships that they experienced growing up. My mother tells me all the time, "I don't want you to be like me. I want you to be better." While this is sweet and all, the "thick love" that black mothers have toward their children is not always good. This "thick love," also known as tough love can harm the mother-child relationship. An example of this could be Sethe and her children. Sethe's two sons left her. Her relationship with Denver was only going ok because they were all each other had. Sethe's choice to love her child enough  to kill her haunted her. When Beloved arrived her thick love flipped on her.










My personal story is that I always told my mom that I would be a totally different mother than my mother. I wanted my children to know that I love them and I was going to show and tell them all the time. I was going to be the kind of mother who didn't yell too much, but made sure that my children respected me and did what they were supposed to do. This seemed to be the perfect mother. When I had my daughter, I just couldn't get enough of her. I wanted to hold her all the time, but my mother would tell me to put her down because she would expect for someone to hold her all the time. Is that so bad? Now that my daughter is almost 2 years old, she's learning new things and her mind is wandering. I find myself yelling and "being mean" toward my daughter when she's being hard headed. It's hard not to because that's what my mother did toward me. I tend to feel bad afterward, but at the same time I look at how I show my daughter more affection than my mom does.










Black mothers often imitate how their mothers raised them. A quote from class that stood out to me was, "The black mother is a lost child." I feel like this is true because not many black mothers got to experience true "motherly love." The love that they experienced was that "thick love" that Sethe had toward their children. They try to prepare their children for what is possible to happen, but they don't know if it can or will happen. This "thick love" seems to be passed down from generation to generation, but when will it stop? If we can't find a way to balance love and affection with preparing our children to be great adults, then our plan will continue to fail. Times seem to be getting worse, and instead of our daughters becoming queens and doing something with their lives, they will continue to make our community looks bad. Is thick love a maternal curse? Or will it some day benefit us and our community?


Here is a video about what it can do to us.
http://youtu.be/_AdRs5fEy-k

Thick Love

In our class discussion about Black Maternal Identity we discussed "thick love". Within "thick love" African-American mothers choose and are sometimes forced by circumstance to love their children without as much visible and tangible affection. This may or may not include the way that they talk to their children, the way that they participate with their children, and the way that they simply tell their children, "I love you". "thick love" is something that almost all black children experience at the hands of the oppression that their mothers and grandmothers have faced for generation upon generation. A very famous poem that I thought fit this theme is "Mother to Son" by Langston Hughes in which the speaker, a Black mother explains her hardships and expectations for her son because of them.


Mother To Son by Langston Hughes

Well, son, I’ll tell you:

Life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

It’s had tacks in it,

And splinters,

And boards torn up,

And places with no carpet on the floor—

Bare.

But all the time

I’se been a-climbin’ on,

And reachin’ landin’s,

And turnin’ corners,

And sometimes goin’ in the dark

Where there ain’t been no light.

So boy, don’t you turn back.

Don’t you set down on the steps

’Cause you finds it’s kinder hard.

Don’t you fall now—

For I’se still goin’, honey,

I’se still climbin’,

And life for me ain’t been no crystal stair.

When it comes to Denver she faces many absurdities in her life such as when she the boy in her class told her her mom Seth went to prison for murder. This caused her to question her mother and grandma but when they spoke she was so afraid of the answer she went deaf. I believe this the consequence of her decision to ask about what boy had told her.

Miss Independent

In the novel, it is clear that Sethe takes on and embraces her independence as a woman and mother.  It is common for Black woman to take on the responsibility and embody what it means to be independent.  Although her living conditions are not ideal, because of the ghost, Sethe chooses to remain where she is and raise her children the best she can.  Unfortunately, it becomes somewhat of a burden because she is alone and accepts the life which has been presented to her.  I think it honorable and worth mentioning when Black women opt to take on all of the responsibilities in the household, however, at the same time it can hinder them.

Denver

Denver shows throughout the story that she is a lonely soul. She wants more then anything to have someone for herself which is why she tries to connect to Beloved, Sethe's dead daughter. Denver is almost fearful to step outside of 124 because she knows that she will not be bale to handle the outside world that she hears many stories about. In a sense Denver carries the attitude in which she does not belong to either worlds presented in the story; the normal world with Paul D and Sethe nor the supernatural world that Beloved speaks of from time to time. Denver is trying to find herself and also learn how balance her anger  from her feelings of being alone!

A life. Could be

"They were not holding hands, but their shadows were. Sethe looked to her left and all three of them were gliding over the dust holding hands. Maybe he was right. A Life."

In this particular scene of the book, Sethe, Denver, and Paul D are walking through the carnival exploring the outdoors and life outside of 124, something that they have not done in a very long time. Through Sethe's eyes this is such a fun and invigorating experience. She sees Paul D interacting with everyone, making the crowds laugh, and living through his absurd experiences, smiling nonetheless. In this instance we see Paul D acting through the Black Feminist Existential component of "exposing the oppressor". He's being happy and living his life in opposition of the many attempts of whites to suppress that want and human need.

Later on in the story, Paul D and Sethe have an argument because of Denver's asking him when he would be leaving. This conversation goes awry and is a conversation that is often had in Black homes as the absence of biological fathers and lovers often bring the presence of another man, who serves as lover to the mother but misplaces the child. This situation reminded me of my own life experience in which my mother entertained suitors and even my own father and I felt misplaced. We had lived as "just us" for so long and the presence of any man into our dynamic was not a pleasant one for me. In black women's trying to reinstate their womanhood after the seeming "staples" of situations happens to them (having children out of wedlock, becoming "babymothers", implementing Other Mothering in their eldest children) the transition and "snatching" of authority from their girl children is a difficult and sometimes impossible transition.

Last class we were given a character out of beloved and were told to look at three different themes i guess you can say and see how the character acted in those themes. My group had Denver and i noticed we had a recurring theme of Denver always did something because she felt lonely. She never wanted to be alone. She hated being alone. Thats why she allowed beloved to choke her mother and not say anything because she didn't want her to kick beloved out because she would then be alone again or so she thought. This made me think how many women, black women at that feel alone all the time and allow thins to keep going that they know are wrong because they don't want to be alone? According to google black men are the most common to cheat and black women have a high chance in being in an abusive relationship. Is this because they are scared to be alone so they allow themselves to be hurt. why is it so common for black women? i think its because a lot of black women have a little Denver in them. They allow themselves to go through things that isn't right because they don't want to be alone. They are trying to fill avoid that can only truly be filled by love.

Denver

The entire novel, Beloved, is absurd. A story of a mother killing her own baby. The baby haunting their home, and then the baby possibly comes to life in human form. My group had to analyze Denver. At the beginning of Beloved, Denver shows absurdity because she finds comfort in the baby ghost. Although, it is absurd for Denver to find comfort in the ghost, she has no choice because no one comes to visit her and Sethe, and the ghost is the only "thing" that keeps her company. When Beloved comes, it's no wonder she takes so well her to her. This ghost is an actual human.
A choice that Denver makes in Beloved is when she decides not to tell Sethe that it was Beloved who choked her. Denver doesn't tell Sethe because she wants Beloved to stay. Denver seems to think her existence doesn't matter without Beloved.This could also be bizarre, or absurd. Beloved seems to be Denver's responsibility. Denver takes on the role of Beloved's mother by protecting her and taking care of her.

Confide in Who?

"Saying more might push them both to a place they couldn't get back from."

Paul D was vulnerable, and confide in Sethe, which is a gender role in this particular piece. He faced physical and a brutal past, which enabled him to alienate his emotions and not truly find himself. He continued to doubt fundamental aspects of his identity and a lack of manhood. This is an example of change between gender roles, because Sethe is the dominant figure amongst Paul D, but is suffering from her past as well. They try to avoid their past stories and brutal memories. They were both scared to open up, but managed to do so and fall in love. They spoke up about their past and confided in each other to become comfortable and safe around each other.

Ain't I A Woman?

One of the main themes of Black Feminist Existentialism is the notion that black women are denied humanity, primarily through their denial of motherhood. The white negation of these seemingly humane and fundamental ways in which all women exist is profound and falls right into the theme of absurdity.

This can be seen in Toni Morrison's Beloved as Sethe recalls to Paul D., she feels compelled to repeat to him that they "took [her] milk". He finds power in the fact that they whipped her during her pregnancy, "They beat you and you was pregnant?" , but she repeats to him, screaming this time, "And they took my milk!".

The pain that a mother must feel, being robbed of her ability to nurture her baby with something as essential as her breast milk is absolutely ABSURD. Before, during, and after slavery, Black women have been denied this right to humanity and simultaneously denied connections with the world around them. One of the most famous resistances of this is the "Ain't I a Woman?" speech given by Sojourner Truth in 1851 at a Woman's Convention in Akron, Ohio.

"Well, children, where there is so much racket there must be something out of kilter. I think that 'twixt the negroes of the South and the women at the North, all talking about rights, the white men will be in a fix pretty soon. But what's all this here talking about?

That man over there says that women need to be helped into carriages, and lifted over ditches, and to have the best place everywhere. Nobody ever helps me into carriages, or over mud-puddles, or gives me any best place! And ain't I a woman? Look at me! Look at my arm! I have ploughed and planted, and gathered into barns, and no man could head me! And ain't I a woman? I could work as much and eat as much as a man - when I could get it - and bear the lash as well! And ain't I a woman? I have borne thirteen children, and seen most all sold off to slavery, and when I cried out with my mother's grief, none but Jesus heard me! And ain't I a woman?

Then they talk about this thing in the head; what's this they call it? [member of audience whispers, "intellect"] That's it, honey. What's that got to do with women's rights or negroes' rights? If my cup won't hold but a pint, and yours holds a quart, wouldn't you be mean not to let me have my little half measure full?

Then that little man in black there, he says women can't have as much rights as men, 'cause Christ wasn't a woman! Where did your Christ come from? Where did your Christ come from? From God and a woman! Man had nothing to do with Him.

If the first woman God ever made was strong enough to turn the world upside down all alone, these women together ought to be able to turn it back , and get it right side up again! And now they is asking to do it, the men better let them.

Obliged to you for hearing me, and now old Sojourner ain't got nothing more to say. "

Sethe's decisions

“Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.”  

This quote is significant to me and relates to the story beloved, because many of slaves as well as Sethe believe that by killing their children is actually freeing them from oppression, hatred and any type of obstacles they may encounter in life. The life that she may live can possibly be uncertain for her children, but she did not take the time out to think nor realize any other choice besides killing them. This is a form of absurdity in my opinion, because it was foolish of herself to want to even think about killing her child. Even though, she did this act she was still unable to leave the past in the past and it began to haunt her. So, was killing her children an actual thought out act that made a difference or completely absurd.

Kristin Williams

I noticed that in Beloved Sethe killed her daughter and thought that the ghost was her so thats why she didn't want it to leave her. She was very hurt when Paul D ran the ghost out the house. She felt like she got a second chance when Beloved came because she was just like her daughter.  This shows me how hurt and sad that Sethe was about killing her daughter and if she could she would take it back, but i notice now in time most girls kill their children during abortions all the time . Especially black girls. Why is this? why aren't they hurt and sad that they killed their child like Sethe?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dIYQ_ggMWLQ&feature=player_embedded

During the 1800's it was absurd for women to live alone hence Paul D's concern about Sethe and Denver living alone without a man in the house. This  Now days not having a man in the house hold is normal. Sethe's hoe was haunted by a ghost that did not leave until a man came into the picture. I feel that this is saying y our home will be out of order until you find a man to put it in order. This could be interpreted in two ways, the first way is that your significant other has not matured into a man yet but he is still a boy, and your home wont be in order until he grows up. The second way is that a woman can not live in peace without a man by her side everything will be in chaos until she finds one.

One of the themes in Beloved is the Supernatural. The supernatural plays quite a large role in this story bringing up old memories and even impacting the present. One ghost who plays a large role in the story is the baby that Beloved lost. When reading this story I got chills when Beloved described how her environment had been before she came. She described it as it being a cluttered dark and hot place. I had seen the movie before however it was when I was younger so in reading this novel now its like I can better comprehend exactly what is going on!

Brittany Dozier

Margaret Garner

The painting above is entitled, "The Modern Medea." Medea was a woman in Greek mythology who killed her own children. "The Modern Medea" is a painting by Thomas Satterwhite Noble. The lady who inspired this painting, and Beloved, is Margaret Garner. Margaret Garner was a slave who escaped to Cincinnati. Garner and her family were found by slave catchers, and she killed her 2 year old daughter to prevent her from having to go back into slavery. Margaret's plan was to kill her other children and herself, but she was stopped before this could happen. Margaret's case was so spectacular because she, and her family, were considered as Mulattos. Margaret was forced back into slavery with her husband and their youngest child. Margaret moved from place to place because of her owner, but then was sent on a boat to Arkansas. It is believed that Margaret was happy when the boat hit another and her daughter drowned. Margaret also tried to drown herself, but was unsuccessful.
To me, this story and the story of Beloved could be absurd because a mother is willing to kill her children and herself. In today's society it is absurd because murder is wrong, but Margaret, and Sethe, believe that they are helping their dead children to be free.

The Walking Dead

The Theme of the walking dead is prevalent throughout Beloved which can be seen in the ghost of 124 and the arrival of Beloved after the ghost has been chased away. The idea that Beloved is the walking dead is inferred by the fact that she has the same name as Sethe's dead baby, she was in a dark place when she was small and was surrounded with dead people, and she has outburst of anger like the ghost of 124. But the idea of the walking dead also includes Sethe and Paul D because at times they are so crippled by their memories of slavery that they cut themselves off from the world. which reminds me of a quote "Living to being in the world." Sethe and Paul D are allowing their existence in an anti-black world become a determinism instead of a condition.

Beloved- The theme of absurdity

Throughout the novel "Beloved," Toni Morrison implies a significant theme of "absurdity." Although this theme is evident among the actions of more than one character in the novel, Sethe's character portrays the highest level of absurdity (in my opinion) among them all. Sethe's "happiness" is a reflection of absurd occurrences throughout the duration of the story. In Sethe's case "currently," absurdity and happiness are a collective piece that is inseparable. It seems that Sethe is "comfortable" with the unfamiliar and the unusual. Rather than attempting to correct or organize her living arrangements in regard to every bizarre occurrence taking place in her life, Sethe appears to be strangely complacent with the way things are not expressing any desire to experience positivity and peace. For Sethe, it appears that the absence of normality is not just reality, but it is a distinctive indication that her life is "seemingly in order" through her currently "restricted lens."